When things get tough in life i invite you to ask yourself one question; could things be looked at in a different way? The mind, that thing that tells us we have no choice but to think, feel and act in a certain way tells us there is no other way to look at something that bothers/hurts/angers us. Is that true? Perhaps, in reality the answer to that questions is actually yes, always yes. Definitely yes. As long as we know and understand we have a choice; we always have a choice then we can ask and indeed answer that question.
Why ask the question in the first place? Well if you can ask that question to yourself then you are already on the first or even second step to controlling your mind. If you can be disciplined enough to acknowledge that there are certain ways to assess a situation, a feeling, a circumstance, an event then you understand that with everything there is a choice and that main choice is; if i looked at things in a different light, or a different way then do i accept that i have control over what is externally or internally affecting my feelings, my actions and reactions?
Does the question actually exist? Is it possible? Or is there only one way to look at a situation? Depends who has control; you or your mind (you know, the one affected by hormones, subconscious thoughts desiring the easiest solution, not exactly the best)? If you live in the reality your mind has created then you have no choice. There's no point asking the question. There's you, there's the situation, there's one way of thinking, one way of acting and reacting and you are simply a passenger. You have no control. If that means you wind up wailing in a corner for three days then you will do that. If that means taking up smoking because that's just the easiest way to cope with something then you will do that. If that means letting someone back into your life who hurt you because you will feel a bit more safe then yeah, you will do it.
That doesn't sound fun. Sound's self-destructive. No alternative? No other path to take? No perspective to be given? No way of not hurting yourself? Sounds like a long and dark fall. How are you so sure that every instance doesn't have an alternative way to act and react? Dear reader in the real world there is always a different way to think. We all have a choice. That choice is yours if you are willing to take control and responsibility of yourself and what you do in life. It is often that people feel coerced to act in a certain way because they don't want the responsibility when in fact you can have it and you can actually change your stars. This requires a massive revelation because you will find so many things you do are as a result of mental coercion and feeling that there was no alternatives.
Mental alternatives are everywhere and once we understand this we can literally control how we feel to almost everything that comes our way and therefore our reactions are based on what we decide to do rather than what we feel we have to do. Once you realize there are alternative ways of looking at things and therefore alternative ways of thinking and reacting we would always always choose the less destructive path even if it means the less easy path. We must realize that there are mental alternatives if we are to escape the trap so many people fall into; because it is there people who then develop pathological fantasies in which they feel something else is controlling them e.g. a mean society, god or fate. Mental alternatives dispense with fate, feelings as a driver and mysticism. Realism, logic and evidence are required not only to realize we have a choice but also to make the right choices also!
If you decide to acknowledge mental alternatives you take ownership of your mind rather than the other way round. Depression is when the mind controls you completely and there is no choice but to be miserable and to put yourself down. Enlightening and taking ownership is when you are in control and you can finally live your life the way you want to and react in the way you want to; if you are aware of the alternatives open to you.