• Tony de Lacey

When You're Let Go




When it comes to matters of the head and heart there is one difference; what you are walking on. When you go into something with your head you are walking on a wooden bridge. When you go into something with your heart you are walking on a tight rope. Both bring their own risks and knowing what risks are helps us make them in the first place. When you walk over a wooden bridge you are holding on to pretty much nothing and can go forward. When you are walking over a tightrope you have to hold on to something or try to balance as hard as you can. Most if not all of us hold on to something. What happens when what we hold on to lets go?


That is the risk, isn’t it? But know this; whilst it’s tempting to play it safe the more we are willing to risk the more alive we are. In the end what we regret the most are the chances we never took. Risks are what we live on and to not take a risk threatens us down the line with regretting not trying. The fall should it happen is no less painful but having never taken the risk in the first place is worse. The view from the bottom of the tightrope pit is better than the view of the tightrope behind you as you walk away from it never taking the risk in the first place.


Risk and reward go hand in hand. Not only does greater risk grant a greater reward it reminds us just how much we think of ourselves. We place value on ourselves, increase our ability for self-compassion and self-empowerment if we believe (which we should) that we deserve the reward and so take the risk to go for it. The reward might not be what we think it is at the end of the day and we might walk to the end of the tightrope in a different way to when we started and that is only a good thing.

So what happens when you take that risk, walk over the tightrope and whatever holds us there be that a person, a hope, a feeling, whatever we rely on to keep going lets go of us? What happens when we lose the balance and fall? Well firstly you fall slowly. The view you enjoyed at the top which you will never forget because of its beauty, it’s joy and so much more will begin to fold in front of you. It will feel like falling into a black hole to which you will never stop falling. During the fall you will see the most heart breaking view; the tightrope you were walking over drifting away from you. You will reach out a hand to try to save yourself the fall, hold on for dear life but it will be too late. You will watch it get away from you.


You will land. No fall is ever forever. That is what happens when you are let go. You will fall and you will land. No, it won’t be rock bottom. It will be hard to know where you have landed at first but eventually you will look around and see where you are. The tightrope is still up there, in your vision. You will lie there. Your view has turned from a beautiful view to nothing but seeing that tightrope and where you fell.


You can then choose to shake your fists at the tightrope, or even yourself. You can desperately find a way to get back up there and try again. But why try to do that when you know that the thing you held on to made you fall so painfully and you will be let go by that same thing again? You can try to overthink about why you were let go or lost your balance. You can choose to do one or all of these things. At face value that is all you will feel like you can do.


At the bottom of the pit you, still staring up have another way to think. You can get up, stare at where you fell and assess where you went wrong. Look at what let you go and learn that whatever let you go is what you should never hold on to again. That’s right; you thought I was going to say go back on the wooden boards with your head. You can do that but that would be playing it safe. What you can do instead is choose something better to hold on to. Once you acknowledge what let go of you the next thing to is say ‘let’s find something better to hold on to’. The next thing or the next few things might let go of you again but you will get braver as you get back on the tightrope. You will learn from what let go of you and you will get further along the tightrope.


You walk away from where you fell and you get back up there and find something better to hold on to, something you feel won’t let go of you. You might find it is something unexpected which is exactly why I said when you get to the end of the tightrope you might find you have ended up where you didn’t expect but are so happy you made the journey. You might get let go again but as you learn from what let’s go of you causing you to fall you tap yourself into alignment and will hold onto things that won’t let go of you.


That is life, or rather that is gaining wisdom in life. Life is a series of bridges and tightropes and it is up to you to decide what to take easy and what to risk it all with. The bridge is great and will help you move forward but the tightrope is where the best view and the best result can be found.


Don’t walk away from the tightrope. Don’t shake your fists at the fall. Don’t desperately get up and hold on to the same thing expecting a different result. Find what you want to hold on to and won’t let go of you. When you do you will live life with no regrets, your bravery and courage in doing so will make you feel incredible every day and you will thank yourself for the falls along the way for they helped you get to the end with whatever you are holding on to when you get there. You will get there and you will look back and see the truth and the reality of your journey. You will look down and see how far you have come and where you are. The reality of your situation and your accomplishment will be finally revealed.


“We shall not cease from exploration. And at the end of our exploration will be to arrive back where we started and to know the place for the first time”. - Leo Tolstoy


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