How To Listen

"People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening" - Simon and Garfunkel What do we do, most of the time? Do we talk or do we listen? Do we give out more than we let in or do we do the opposite? Hopefully your answer is the latter. Listening is one of the most important skills we have in the world. It is the most important skill when it comes to improving intelligence, general life skills and the ability to talk better. When we were young we first learnt to l

Be Afraid Of Inaction Rather Than Action

If you are afraid of doing something, if you are shy, if you would rather not be put in a certain stressful situation then you are experiencing a very real and valid perception of something very specific and something very general. Knowing what and why you fear doing something is vital so you know how to overcome it. It's not enough to say 'just get over it'. Embrace the fear so you can use it to get over what you are afraid of! Turn your fear into power. Here's how to do it.

Why You Resist Self-Help Advice

Time to get a bit meta. Checking out self-help material is tough enough but for a lot of people they actively push away self-help advice and people trying to give it out. There are many who quite frankly would rather cut that person or their work out of their lives completely. This is all too common and it's ok. 'You can only help those who choose to listen with an open mind' is all but tattooed on my body. Knowing why you resist self-help advice can help you become more open

Be Honest With Yourself

We are rarely honest with ourselves. We are rarely truthful to ourselves. What might seem like a logical decision might actually be based on a lie. Stories we tell ourselves to justify our decisions in life are more likely twisting truths rather than declaring them. Not only that, it is obvious to see people living in a dishonest fashion. There is an idea that you can assume reality and that makes it ok; makes it understandable and from that we can make choices based on that.

The Importance Of Self-Love

In a world where external influences affect us more than our internal processes it is often easy to forget how self-love is relevant. Why love yourself if you can buy/achieve/earn/marry/collect/win it somewhere else? What's the point of taking time to appreciate your own being, your own existence if what's around us can distract us for almost our entire lives? We do so because it is easier and more straight forward. Me plus this equals some sort of satisfaction. An equation l

How To Move On From Your Past

How do we move on from events that have happened in our lives? How do we recover from the negative emotions memories both good and bad give us? It's such a tough thing to do and if anything can be overwhelming to even contemplate, and that's even if you feel ready to even attempt it. Ultimately, you have to eventually. You have to move on or you will be trapped in the past and that's not where you ever want to be. This article will explain to you just why you do think about t

Everything You Do Matters

Are you struggling to know what to do in your life? Asking the existential question about what the point of everything in your life is? Waking up in cold sweats feeling lost and in some ways alone? Second guessing your decisions in life not knowing if you have made the right or wrong ones? The root question to all of these questions is; do you feel like you as a person in your being and your actions matter? Of course you matter! Everything about you matters! Everything

When You're Let Go

When it comes to matters of the head and heart there is one difference; what you are walking on. When you go into something with your head you are walking on a wooden bridge. When you go into something with your heart you are walking on a tight rope. Both bring their own risks and knowing what risks are helps us make them in the first place. When you walk over a wooden bridge you are holding on to pretty much nothing and can go forward. When you are walking over a tightrope y

Be Potentially Dangerous

The best way to live is to be a monster, to be prepared for aggression and more but choosing never to act upon it. That is the way to be. Being dangerous, being able to be a very dangerous person is very necessary so you don't become a victim. Not acting upon it, controlling that danger, is what makes you powerful and incredible. "The meek shall inherit the earth". We have been told that being nice is the best way to be in the world. Be the 'nice guy' or 'nice girl' and you'l

Fight Back Against Anxiety

What's going to happen next? That is the question that personifies the word 'anxious'. A solution to anxiety is one of the most sought-after pieces of advice when it comes to self-help. We all at some point in our lives experience it and its crippling feeling. The over-thinkers, the people who care so much, the people who fear what is going to happen next, there are so many brackets where anxiety falls in to. If you have a heart you will have felt its icy sting. There is, how

Overthinking; When You Don't Understand. When You Don't Know

Over-thinkers, over-analyzers, hyper-active minds, welcome. This is the article for you. What do we do when we don't fully understand the situation? We think of every conceivable scenario and its outcome and we do it again and again. We confuse ourselves more than is even remotely necessary and the emotion is often chaotic and painful. You can read many books about how to get over it but you can never begin to triumph over over-thinking until you know exactly what is happenin

Embracing Trust and Faith

A couple of weeks ago TDL Fitness published an article called 'Trust No One But Yourself'. We received great feedback on this but we feel we have promoted cynicism and mis-trust of other people. This was not the aim of the article. The aim was to promote the importance and integrity of the individual over other people as a priority. There is an important, no, vital added component to this and that is the word 'faith'. Trust is something we can build and prioritise on ourselve

The Meaning of Life; Responsibility

The ultimate question is; what is my meaning, my purpose on this earth? Underneath everything including physical and mental fitness, the pursuit of genuine happiness lies this great question. The great wheels of our minds, our motivations, our actions and our reactions turn amidst this question. Rather than make you read to the end to get the answer i'll lay it out now. If you want to assess the meaning of your life including your direction, your value to yourself and the wor

Mental Momentum

How often do we, in the writing game, use snowball analogies? It is easy to visualise, is depicted in many films both in the literal and the iconic sense. It is such an innocent mental video of a small piece of snow moving slowly and as it makes its way down the hill it grows bigger and bigger and moves faster and faster. A cliche some might say. Of course it is. Though when it comes to explaining the mind sometimes the most simple analogies can turn out to be quite accurate

Keep Going

"If you're going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill Few phrases in the English language have the ethereal beauty and the magnificent meaning that can help people do extraordinary things. Feats of human existence rest in no small part on those few words, phrases and utterances that countless heroes have lived by in order to make the world what it is today. In the minds of most the phrase 'keep going' is perhaps the greatest phrase of them all. It's meaning, it's app

What Is Inner Power?

The inner fire, the inner fight, the inner will to do the extraordinary. Inner power is an over-used term and very few who choose to talk about it rarely tell you what it is and of course what it requires. Simply put; inner power is natural determination; that is, it is the ability to create an unshakable will to do something difficult and long term from practically or absolutely nothing. The self-sufficient happy, thriving and living person is able to create that inner power

The Third Person Self-Perspective

Wouldn't it be amazing to have someone narrate our lives? If you had your entire life filmed and narrated back to you would you gain something from it? I'm sure you would especially if the golden voice that is Morgan Freeman was the narrator. He'd probably talk really slowly, with a tempo y'all might know very well. And he would say that maybe he didn't think much of you, Andy Dufrain...sorry I got sidetracked. The point is if you stepped back and talked about what you think,

Mental Alternatives

When things get tough in life i invite you to ask yourself one question; could things be looked at in a different way? The mind, that thing that tells us we have no choice but to think, feel and act in a certain way tells us there is no other way to look at something that bothers/hurts/angers us. Is that true? Perhaps, in reality the answer to that questions is actually yes, always yes. Definitely yes. As long as we know and understand we have a choice; we always have a choic

Dealing With People Who Suffer

Discovering what happiness and what suffering actually is reveals so much about not only what we are doing right but what we are doing wrong as well. The realisation opens up a great understanding of how and why we do things especially those things we don't realise on the face of it. This realisation is also the case when it comes to explaining the behaviours of others around us. This is not always a good thing and in quite a few cases it can be utterly disheartening. This fa

Don't Be A Quitter

Don't give up! Why are people so reluctant to remember this phrase? Seriously, it is incredible just how easy people can give up almost everything. No matter what that thing is as long as it is benefiting your life as soon as adversity or even perceived adversity comes one's way we are so ready to give up and go home, give up and go back to the familiar. We give up on working towards making our lives better. The reason why is amazing and it should reveal to us who the real en